Family and Freelancing - The Ultimate Balancing Act
May 29th, 08 | 17 remarksA couple weeks back FreelanceSwitch had an excellent article on how so many freelancers tend to disrespect their own time. It was an article I seriously needed to read, because I’m one of them. It’s often not by choice, however. Due to parental demands or household responsibilities which must be taken care of during “normal” work hours, juggling priorities and jumping through hoops is part of each day for me.
I started thinking about the challenges of freelancing from home, with a family. Things like setting (or enforcing) work hours, dealing with interruptions and coping with isolation. Oh and let’s not forget guilt when we pull ridiculous hours because we’re motivated or under deadline. I’m sure for many of us, the whole point in working from home was to spend more time with our kids and/or spouse - not less!
So I got in touch with a few [freelancing] friends for some new perspectives. Reading their responses not only provided great insight, it helped to know I’m not alone in the daily grind! :) If you’ve been frustrated with balancing all the things required of your time and attention, I hope it will help you too…
Do you set regular hours for yourself, or work when you can? How do you resist the temptation to work evenings/weekends or even holidays when you want to but feel you shouldn’t?
- Officially my working hours are 9am to 6pm, but that tends to get interrupted by jobs like taking the kids to school, shopping, cleaning and looking after the kids; my wife’s disabled so what she can do around the house is limited, especially at the moment with her being 34 weeks pregnant! In order to maintain some sort of sanity, I hard not to work during the evenings or at weekends - but if something needs to be done then I don’t really have a choice and have to fit the additional work in around everything else. I try not to feel guilty about it though as the work I’m doing now is all about planning for the future of my family. - Paul Enderson
- Now that my kids are all in school all day, my regular office/work hours are 8:30-2:30 M-F. If I need to I will sneak in extra work in the evening while everyone is watching TV (I just take my laptop in the same room as them) and since I am an early bird I will sneak in work on weekend mornings while the family is all being sleepyheads. - Charlene Polanosky
- I have an almost 3 year old, so I work when I can. Nap time and after bedtime are my main work times each day. I don’t try to resist the temptation to work evenings, weekends, holidays, or whenever the opportunity arises, because for me, the work is a sort of stress release from the job of parenting. Anyone who has little ones will understand when I say that you often feel rather unsuccessful at the job of raising them. By contrast, I can sit down at the computer and feel successful when a client likes a design or I figure out some pesky coding issue, and it somehow gives me energy to get back into the parenting trenches. That being said, there are certainly times when I have a choice between working and joining my husband and son for some play time in the back yard, and it can be difficult to choose to put work aside in favor of family time. I just have to remember who and what is most important. - Randa Clay
Sometimes interruptions are frequent and/or unavoidable. What do you do to minimize them while remaining accessible to your family?
- I’m quite lucky in that I have converted a room in our house into an office. This allows me to hide away when necessary, while still being close enough for my wife or children to find me and talk to me when I’m needed. - Paul Enderson
- I try to let my family know in advance if I expect a busy work day. And I try to communicate with clients if I expect interruptions (like this summer). - Charlene Polanosky
- Basically, if it’s a family interruption, for the most part it trumps whatever work I’m doing. I work well doing projects in bits and pieces, so if I have to get up every couple of minutes to change a diaper, solve a problem or fix a grilled cheese sandwich it doesn’t really affect my workflow. I try to remain completely accessible unless I’ve got a major deadline. I also only schedule client calls during naptime, or on days when my son is visiting a friend’s house. - Randa Clay
Working from home usually means no “water cooler” conversation and very little adult interaction. How do you ward off loneliness and stay focused on days when you feel isolated?
- I do miss the peer-level interaction sometimes, but working at home offers so many advantages – not least the fact that I don’t have to deal with all the nasty “office politics” that I’ve always endured when working for somebody else! I’m usually so engrossed in the work at hand that the loneliness factor doesn’t really get to me. - Paul Enderson
- One word - TWITTER - Charlene Polanosky
- Twitter is one great way to feel as if you’re in touch with colleagues around the internet, and IM is nice for a quick chat to check in with friends. - Randa Clay
When you feel overwhelmed trying to do everything yourself, what do you do to relieve pressure and how do you keep your eye on the prize?
- My only social outlet these days is playing pool, which I try to do as often as possible. In addition to that I have a large portfolio of my own sites that I can work on for a little while when the paid work starts to get overwhelming – allowing me to return renewed to the business at hand. When things start to really get on top of me (which of course they do from time to time) then I simply focus on a single task and work on it until it’s been completed – a process that’s repeated until everything’s back under control again! - Paul Enderson
- I am very good at scheduling my day and I try to schedule in downtime for myself. - Charlene Polanosky
- I try very hard not to overload myself with work, and schedule everything using a monthly calendar to manage what I’m working on each week. I’m relatively picky about which clients I’ll choose to work with in order to minimize the inevitable client headaches that can come with the job. In other words, I try to avoid being overwhelmed and under a great deal of pressure by planning ahead. - Randa Clay
Can you offer any tips for setting priorities in terms of family/home responsibilities versus professional obligations?
- To be perfectly honest, I don’t think I’m the best person to give advice to others on setting priorities – after all, I rarely manage to pull off that feat myself! Perhaps the most important thing I feel people should remember is that it’s only work. There will always be another job if the current one goes pear-shaped, and there will always be a new fresh day tomorrow – but your family (and especially your children) will grow and change without you realising it, so make the most of them while you can. - Paul Enderson
- The best thing to do is try to schedule your time. Keep a good to-do list but don’t expect to get it all done each day. Set aside blocks of time for work, home and yourself. - Charlene Polanosky
- I guess the #1 thing here is not to overload yourself with work. Leave some breathing room in the schedule so that the most important people in your life get all the attention they need. How much work I take on is completely my call. If I continually take on too much, and put work above my family, I WILL regret it. The very reason I don’t work a day job is because my priority is my family, so it just wouldn’t make any sense to then continually put them second. - Randa Clay
Thanks goes out to each of these very busy people for answering my questions so candidly, and for being willing to participate in the first place!
Paul Enderson is the owner of Astetix and the man behind Reflections, his personal blog. Paul has a long list of skills to draw from, specializing in web and graphics design. He’s also father of (soon to be) four!
Charlene Polanosky owns and operates several blogs including Essential Keystrokes and Casual Keystrokes. She has been freelancing over ten years, with a background in web marketing and design strategy. She’s also mother of three!
Randa Clay is a talented graphics/web designer with an impressive list of clients. She owns Randa Clay Design and occasionally writes for the Blog Herald. She’s also mother of (soon to be) two!
Will definitely come back to this for a read (pushed for time at the mo). Great idea putting such a topic together, Charity, given that I’ll be doing this too someday soon (I hope).
May 29, 08 | 2:40 pmGood insight here. It is nice to get other people’s perspective. I admire how Paul, Char and Randa all put their families first.
Totally off topic: ooo! I like your submit button for the comments! It’s purdy :)
And… have you figured out what causes links to sometimes make articles disappear? This has happened to me 3 times now! The only ways I can find to fix it are to either remove the link (which can be a problem if it is an important part of the comment), or remove the link and add it back in via phpMyAdmin :\
May 29, 08 | 3:04 pmThanks for including me in this post Charity. It was great to read what Paul and Char had to say in response to your questions as well!
May 29, 08 | 3:32 pmThanks so much for putting this post together, Charity. It was very helpful to read the insights from busy parents who still manage to be successful at what they do.
I’m too having a hard time balancing work and family, especially when I had a day job. But since going solo, things are getting a bit better, and I manage to spend more time with my family while still getting some work done. Though I have a long way to go in being a highly efficient and organized mom/designer ;-)
May 29, 08 | 4:23 pmThanks for putting this together Charity. Working from home and raising a family is certainly a juggling act, but it is one I would not trade for the world! I plan on doing a lot of mobile computing this summer - while the kids are at swim practice, hockey practice, at the pool, etc. I love the flexibility.
May 29, 08 | 6:46 pmGreat article and great advice!
I wish I had those problems. Currently the problem I have is sending all day at work, not feeling like I’ve gotten enough done and feeling the weight of it when I’m at home (where there’s no healthy food because I haven’t had time to go to the supermarket). It’s a constant struggle to find balance in any feild I think.
May 29, 08 | 7:07 pmCharity, this is a marvellous post. I work from home and I work three days a week, although work does sneak into the other days/nights if there’s a deadline. One of the most awkward things is taking a call from a client, on a non-work day (because they don’t always remember and that’s understandable, they’re busy people too!) with a screaming 3yo hanging onto my leg. Happily that doesn’t happen too often. I relate to everything that you and your three contributors have said in the post, and finally I have a reason to start using Twitter - until now I hadn’t really seen the point, but now I definitely do!
May 29, 08 | 11:04 pmThanks everyone for stopping in and for the kind words. :)
@Lauren - I have combed the forums in search of the answer and still haven’t been able to solve it. I have to repeat the process you described every time a comment gets hung up. Except the phpMyAdmin part. Good thinking. Never even occurred to me I could/should do that! The issue is still aggravating though.
@inspirationbit - I know how you feel. I’m nowhere near the realm of “highly efficient”. In fact I can’t even see that realm from where I sit. ;) But each day I start over trying!
@kristarella - don’t feel bad, even when I have healthy food in the house I never feel like eating it! LOL
@Tracey - I just recently began Twittering (after signing up over a year ago) and it is really fun. I like that it’s about posting quick thoughts or links without the effort that often goes into blogging. Randa turned me on to Twitterfox and that makes the concept all the more useful because you don’t have to constantly check Twitter itself to see what your friends are up to either.
May 30, 08 | 8:57 amI don’t work from home, I have a 9 - 5, but I do work on the side from home and I find it very difficult to stay on task. I have a wife and 2 children and to go 30 minutes without an interruption is a blessing! It is easier on the weekends when I can stay up later and get work done when they are all sleeping. I would love to work from home full time, but I think I would have to have an office for that to work. Great article keep em comming!
Jun 2, 08 | 10:24 pmI guess, it’s just a matter of time management. Working in a freelance and time for the family. Even me, I’m also planning to work on freelance (work at home) if given an opportunity. There are lots of advantages it can give. Good article, Charity!
Jun 5, 08 | 7:10 pmGreat article. Like Brett, I have a 9 - 5, but do my own thing in my freetime, with an eye to going eventually going freelance. It can be really difficult working and remaining focused when there’s so much other stuff taking up my life (and I’ve not got any kids yet), but the one thing I find that helps a great deal is plugging myself into my ipod. All ambient distractions are immediately eliminated.
Jun 9, 08 | 5:06 amThese are all very true. I work from home and constantly battle daily chores vs. work. It is all too easy to get distracted. It takes more than just determination. It almost takes some sort of super power to stay on task. I wish I could get bit by some radioactive insect or something.
Jun 10, 08 | 5:04 pm@Brett - yep, 30 minutes sounds about right for me too! :) Quite often it’s less than that. I really like how you refer to it as a blessing (as opposed to an inconvenience). What a great outlook.
@Martin - thanks for stopping by! I hope going freelance works out for you when you’re ready. I’m of the mind that everyone should at least try it, though I know it’s easier said than done for most.
@Essence Web Design - how I’d love to tune the world out with my headphones, but that would mean tuning out my 2yr old and she’d probably burn the house down around me if I didn’t watch out! ;)
@Peter - well said. Tenacious is a word that also comes to mind. If you caught me on a bad day, I probably wouldn’t have anything nice to say about freelancing from home. But most of the time I’d say the rewards greatly outweigh the disadvantages! I love being home with my daughter every day and that’s just the start. The freedom and flexibility are also a big deal for me. I’ve never had a boss tell me I could set my own rates, wear my pajamas to work, or take the afternoon off any time I felt like it. ;) Hang in there!
Jun 10, 08 | 10:37 pmI appreciate your attitude towards family and job. For me, family is always the most important. And job is necessary for us to make a living. Well balance between the two aspect make our life happy.
Jun 16, 08 | 12:39 pmThanks for doing this Charity! I find it comforting to know that others are struggling with the same stuff that I am.
Love the new theme BTW - just goes to show the last time I actually visited my favourite blogs! I only ever seem to get time to read them as RSS these days…
As Holmes would often say: “the game’s afoot”. I shall be changing what I’m doing online very soon and I hope that you and all the usual suspects above will get involved too! Watch my space… ;)
Jun 20, 08 | 3:43 amGreat post and oh so true. I also have this problem. When I am at it I have time for nothing else. But then again no one is complaining about the money lol
Aug 17, 08 | 9:31 amFreelancing know a days is hot topic. There are lot of freelancer websites providing work to professional freelancers. It is very difficult to define family responsibilities and your professional obligations. This is a great article and give nice over of freelancing.I work from home and it is really heard to keep focus on work while working from home and also look after your family at a same time. It also gives you edge that you get good money of your effort.
Aug 25, 08 | 9:14 am